

Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 | 46m 3sVideo has Closed Captions
Catch up with three women whose lives have been changed in unexpected ways.
We catch up with three women whose lives have been changed, including Deborah Ozturk whose birth mother is making her first trip to the UK since their reunion.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback

Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 | 46m 3sVideo has Closed Captions
We catch up with three women whose lives have been changed, including Deborah Ozturk whose birth mother is making her first trip to the UK since their reunion.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
How to Watch Long Lost Family: What Happened Next?
Long Lost Family: What Happened Next? is available to stream on pbs.org and the free PBS App, available on iPhone, Apple TV, Android TV, Android smartphones, Amazon Fire TV, Amazon Fire Tablet, Roku, Samsung Smart TV, and Vizio.
Providing Support for PBS.org
Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship[contemplative music playing] Over the past seven years we've reunited more than 200 people with their long lost relatives.
Oh!
God!
-We've found him.
-[gasps] You've found him?
Hi, Dad.
[Davina] But meeting is just the beginning.
-I'm your big sister.
-You are.
How easy is it to build a relationship after a lifetime apart?
I do worry I'm never, ever gonna get to see him again.
You always hope that it'll be like a fairy-tale, but, of course, it's not.
This is the series where we find out what happened next.
[man] I was so worried, I'd found my son, and then literally three months later I could lose him.
[cheering] [Davina] This week three women who spent years desperate to find their birth mothers.
It was an overwhelming feeling of coming home.
-Mwah!
-You made it.
But has the reunion given them everything they were searching for?
[dramatic music playing] Since Long Lost Family began, we've had more than 50 people come to us looking for their birth parents.
Our first story begins with Deborah Ozturk, who was desperate to find the birth mother who gave her up when she was a baby.
At the time, Deborah had no idea that this would lead to another very special reunion between her birth mother and her adoptive mother.
[Deborah] There you go, Mum, here's your cup of tea.
Oh, thanks, dear.
[Deborah] My mum who brought me up, I love her more than life.
Ooh, that's a bit hot.
But there's another person out there who's such a big part of me that I've never met.
Mum, do you remember this?
Where were we when this picture was taken?
[Davina] Deborah was born in Adelaide, Australia in 1966.
[mother] Yeah, that's Australia.
She was adopted by an English couple, Betty and John Winchester, who were living in Australia at the time.
Mum, do you remember telling me when I was adopted?
Oh...
I told you very young.
You used to say, "I'm doctored."
[laughs] But it wasn't until Deborah was a teenager that she made a surprising discovery about the circumstances of her adoption.
All of a sudden there's my mum telling me actually she knew my birth mother.
And I had so many questions.
And how did you meet her?
Well, I found a girl to mind my children, and it was... Joan.
All Betty knew about Joan when she came to work as the family nanny was that she was 17, had been living in a hostel... -That's it.
-...and she was pregnant.
Joan asked Betty and John to adopt Deborah.
[Deborah] It made me feel loved to know that she'd put me with a family where she thought I'd be safe.
[gulls calling] When Betty and John returned to the UK, they took Deborah with them.
The family lost touch with Deborah's birth mother Joan.
It wasn't until Deborah had grown up and had her first child, Devron, who was born with Downs Syndrome, that her thoughts turned back to her birth mother.
[Deborah] He had some complications, and when he was 9 months old, he had heart surgery at Great Ormond Street.
It was just, er, one of the most awful times of my life.
The thought that you might lose your child.
That feeling of just pure dread, you know.
And she had to give me away.
It must have been so hard for her.
And that's when I wanted to look for her.
Deborah ordered her adoption paperwork.
It revealed that Joan had also been adopted as a baby and then again aged ten.
Unlike Deborah's, her adoptions didn't work out.
[Deborah] How huge it must have been to be adopted twice.
For that to break down as well, it's heart-breaking.
Instead of putting me through what she'd been through, she got to know that family that she left me with.
Nothing would mean more to me than being able to say, you know, "You did the right thing for me at that time, and I need to thank you for that."
[Nicky] We began searching for Joan both in the UK and Australia but for four months hit nothing but dead ends.
Eventually we discovered that Joan had changed her name to Kate, and finally we were able to trace her back to Adelaide, Australia.
-Hello, Nicky.
-Kate.
-Nice to meet you.
-Very nice to meet you.
-Come on in.
-Thank you very much.
So when you heard that Deborah was looking for you, what went through your mind?
I was taken aback.
My daughter actually wants to find me.
I didn't think that would ever happen.
So what was your life like when you fell pregnant?
I was living in a hostel.
Uh, no opportunity to provide Deborah with any chances, and I made the decision to give my daughter to a family that I knew, for Deborah's wellbeing.
Betty and John took me in.
They looked after me.
And that family vibe was really there.
My upbringing totally meant that I had to try and ensure that everything for Deborah was much better.
[Nicky] That must have been so difficult.
And do you have any more children?
No, I don't.
I didn't really feel that I would make a good mother.
How can a mother give her child away?
Well, she wants you to know that she had a wonderful adoption.
-Yeah.
-And she's been able to... to hold on to the fact that you cared so much about her that you made absolutely sure that she was going to the right family.
Got it right!
That is just the best that... just the best news, it really is.
-That's your daughter.
-Oh, wow!
[gasps] Amazing.
Totally and utterly amazing.
Oh, I can't wait to meet her.
[Davina] Back in England, I could finally tell Deborah that we'd found her mother.
I mean this story is so unique.
Your mum had hand-picked your adoptive parents.
It made me feel so much better about myself.
-Hmm.
-But it must have broken her heart.
-Well, it did break her heart.
-[gasps] -And I know that because we've found her.
-Oh, my God!
-Really?
-Yes.
I can't believe it.
Oh, gosh.
I can't believe you've found her.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Did she go on to have more children?
-She never had any more children.
-[gasps] -None?
-She felt that if she'd given you away, what kind of mother would she be?
Oh, my God!
[sobbing] Oh, my gosh!
She looks so lovely.
It's like looking at, it is looking at a bit of me.
[Davina] Hmm.
[Deborah] Oh, thank you.
[Davina] Four weeks later, Deborah made the 10,000-mile trip to Australia to be reunited with her birth mother.
Oh, my God!
I can't believe they've found you.
I never believed this day would ever happen.
Nor did I. Oh!
It is here.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Oh, I'm so happy.
-Come and sit down now.
Come and sit down.
-Oh, God!
[Kate] Thank you for looking for me.
Thank you for what you did for me.
Kate, honestly.
I really, really admire what you did.
It was hard, but giving you to Betty and John, they were so nice to me.
-We'll have to have a mum Betty and mum Kate, is that all right?
-That's fine.
Yes.
Dev, come on!
This is my birth mummy, Kate.
[Kate] Hello.
Ahh!
[laughs] -Shall we have a group hug?
-Yeah.
Yes.
Come on then.
It's now been nearly a year and a half since Deborah and Kate were reunited, and they speak to each other every day.
But as they live on opposite sides of the world, they haven't seen each other in person since.
[Deborah] I felt like I'd known Kate all my life almost immediately.
The bond that we have is really, really quite special.
And I love her to pieces.
But even though she texts me every day, it's been really difficult not being able to give her a real hug.
That's the hardest thing of her being so far away.
Today, mother and daughter are finally going to be together again as Kate has made the 23-hour journey to the UK to visit her new family.
[Deborah] I'm nervous.
I can't believe she's coming.
[gasps] Mwah!
-You made it!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-You made it!
How are you?
-I made it in one piece.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
[Kate] To be able to come over here and see Deb again, it's totally amazing.
She's absolutely fantastic.
I am so proud of her, yeah.
I've been so excited.
I know I'm gonna have fun with Kate while she's here and we're gonna enjoy our time.
But seeing her daughter again is not the only reason Kate has come to the UK.
There's someone else she also wants to visit on this trip.
I've been unable to say, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you."
I couldn't have chosen a better person to look after my daughter.
Are you gonna push the trolley for me?
Kate Mitchell has made the 10,000-mile journey from the other side of the world to visit her daughter in the UK for the first time.
But seeing Deborah again isn't the only reason she's made this trip.
Kate's also going to visit the woman who raised her daughter.
Deborah's adoptive mum Betty.
The guilt is really heavy when you give a child away.
But even though it was really hard, I knew Betty had been there, and that made it a lot easier.
The last time Kate and Betty saw each other, Kate left her baby daughter in Betty's care.
It's been over 50 years since I've last seen Kate, 50.
I have worried about what happened to her.
I didn't think I'd see her ever again.
[Kate] Betty has given Debs the opportunity to grow and be a strong person.
And I'm so grateful.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to telling her that.
I really do.
This is also a hugely important day for Deborah.
She's bringing Kate to Betty's home so they can finally see each other again.
[Deborah] I can't wait for them to meet, to have mum Betty and mum Kate together.
It means a real lot to me.
I am nervous about meeting Betty again.
We're nearly there now, it's not far.
[knocks on door] [Betty] Oh!
Hello!
Hello, Betty!
Hello, how are you, darling?
-[Betty laughs] -How are you?
Lovely to see you.
Lovely to see you too.
Hi, Mum.
Mwah!
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
-Come on in.
It means so much to me, that I left Deb with the right person and I can't ever thank you enough.
Thank you so, so much.
You thank me by giving me such a lovely daughter.
[Deborah] Oh!
Bless you.
-Overwhelmed.
-[Betty] You were only 17.
I know, I know.
Yeah.
And you took me into your house and into your life and your family and looked after my daughter for me.
Has she turned out all right?
-She has turned out fantastic.
-[laughter] It's not every day that you can do something like that.
It's humbling in a way.
-What a special moment.
-It is.
-My mums together.
-[Kate] Mums together.
[Betty] Kate means more to me than anything for giving me Debbie, my daughter.
And I've had her all these years, and it's about time her mum shared her.
Shall we talk about the teenage years, Betty?
Later.
We've got plenty of time, we'll do that later.
It's too long ago.
[Kate] Maybe we can look at some photos then?
-[Betty] Yes.
-And catch up.
Yeah.
It's lovely to have you here.
Mwah!
I love you both.
I'm so happy, I can't tell you.
That is my family right there.
Me mum and me mum.
Making this trip back to the UK has started a whole new chapter for Kate and Deborah.
[Kate] The single most important thing I've had from meeting Deb is being able to actually know that I did the right thing.
And that's certainly changed my life.
[Deborah] And I really think she's carried that pain and that guilt with her.
And now and the more time we spend together and the more she gets to know me and her grandsons, I think she is starting to forgive herself.
Actually being part of Debs and my grandsons' lives and being able to do those sort of day-to-day things that a family would do.
I'm much more content now.
[Deborah] Come on, let's take a selfie.
[off-screen] I just feel really lucky that I've had this chance to find her and to get to know her, and for her to be part of our lives.
[Kate] I've missed a lot of time, but what we have now, it's particularly special I think.
Our next story features Mary Davis, who came to us in 2016 longing to find her birth mother.
But after a childhood spent in care, Mary was worried that finding her birth family might not mean that they would automatically accept her.
Fifty-five-year-old Mary lives in Hounslow with her husband Tim.
They have two children, who are now grown up.
But Mary never knew her mum.
She was born in 1961 to an Irish girl called Bernadette Sweeney.
She spent the first six weeks of her life with Bernadette in a home for unmarried mothers.
The records for the home, including Mary's baptism, are now held at this church.
[Mary] When she was six weeks old, Mary was placed with an adoptive family.
But as her hearing deteriorated, Mary's new parents couldn't cope with a deaf child, and Mary was sent to a children's home instead.
But when Mary was seven, her life changed.
She was fostered by a couple who had a deaf daughter.
She lived with them until she was 17.
Mary began searching for her mother 15 years ago and last year she finally made a discovery.
Bernadette had another daughter, Shirley, born five years after Mary.
But that's where the trail went cold.
[Nicky] For six months we combed records for Bernadette and Shirley, before uncovering the sad news that Bernadette, known as Bernie, had passed away in 2007.
Luckily, however, the search did lead us to Shirley.
I went to meet her in North London, close to where she and her mother used to live.
-Hello, Nicky.
-Hi.
[chuckles] -Nice to see you.
-You too.
Did you know that you had a sister?
No idea.
None of my siblings.
We were never told.
I was very shocked.
But it's good, you know.
I'm happy, I'm excited.
Let me tell you a bit about Mary.
She was given up for adoption.
Shortly after, her hearing began to deteriorate.
-Okay.
-And the adoptive family changed their mind because they didn't want to have a baby with hearing problems.
Poor girl.
Mary's deaf now and communicates using sign language.
But it was difficult for her to find a long-term stable home until she was actually seven years old.
-Wow!
-That's heart-breaking, isn't it?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You know.
I'm going to have to learn some sign language.
-You're going to, yeah?
-Yeah.
'Cause she's my sister.
100%.
Oh!
Oh, wow!
[sniffles] -She's got Bernie's eyes.
-[Nicky chuckles] So this is my mother.
[Nicky] Wow!
She looks like Mary.
[Shirley] I can't wait to meet her.
She belongs with us.
I...
I don't know her and I love her.
It's amazing.
And I'll learn that in sign to tell her.
[Davina] Away from the cameras, we told Mary the sad news about her mum.
Then I went to meet her, to let her know that we had managed to find her sister Shirley.
-Hi.
-Hello.
A sign language interpreter helped to translate.
Thank you so much for talking to me.
I'm so, so sorry that we couldn't bring you better news about your mum.
I'm sorry.
Your mum, Bernadette, went on to have five children after you.
We got all this information from your sister Shirley.
[Davina] Yeah.
One week later, Mary and Shirley met in a pub in North London.
The interpreter was there to help.
How are you doing?
Okay?
Oh, my God!
Oh, God.
She's beautiful.
Like you.
Oh, God.
It's like looking at my mother.
I'm glad you've found us.
I'm sorry it took so long, that you couldn't meet Bernie, but... Out of all the siblings, I'd say you're the one that looks the most like her.
God, she missed out not seeing you.
All my siblings want you to come to Ireland.
Have a big family reunion.
Welcome to the family.
It's now been ten months since Mary and Shirley were reunited.
The sisters speak every few days, and Mary's on her fourth visit to Ireland to see her new family.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
[Shirley] I went from knowing nothing about Mary to suddenly having another sister in my life.
But she's just fitted right in.
It's perfect.
[Mary] But after what she went through as a child, Mary's worried about how she would fit in to her new birth family.
It's now been ten months since Mary Davis was reunited with her sister Shirley.
But after being rejected as a child due to her hearing problems, Mary was worried about whether her new family would accept her.
When I first found out Mary was deaf, of course, I worried how I would communicate.
But I was so surprised that it, it was just natural.
She'll speak and I'll gesture and talk to her.
I think because we are a family, Mary still understood me.
We have our own sisterly language.
I've got some photos.
As well as Shirley, Mary's got to know her three other sisters: Caroline, Kelly and Gemma... and her brother Jimmy.
Everybody in the family has been so pleased to meet Mary.
We're two, three hours apart from each other, so it's, it takes a bit of organizing to get them all together and in one place.
We had a big night out, and it was wonderful to see everybody together, you know, where Mary should have been years ago.
The hardest thing for Mary has been coming to terms with the fact that she'll never meet her mother Bernie.
When I look at Mary...
I just see my mother.
You know.
She's so similar that I feel a little bit of Bernie has come back to me.
So I suppose that's bittersweet.
To help Mary build a connection with their mother, Shirley's taking her to Banbridge in Northern Ireland to visit Bernie's grave.
Mary's husband Tim has noticed a big difference in his wife since she was reunited with her family.
[Shirley] I know we can't make up for all the years, but, you know, now, she'll be part of everything in our lives.
It's just a bigger family.
Our final story features Vicki Haskell who came to us in 2014, desperate to find her South African birth mother.
Before her reunion, Vicki had never met a single relative.
So, has finding her birth family really made a difference to her life?
Everybody gives their bottom row to Jack.
I don't know anybody who is a blood relative.
You know, there was nobody in the past, nobody in the future.
It was just me.
Vicki lives in Wiltshire with her husband Curly.
[Curly] It's been a massive gap in her life, and if she could find somebody that she's actually directly related to, the impact would be colossal.
Vicki grew up with her adoptive parents Ron and Eileen Anderson.
They'd wanted children for a long time.
Very devoted parents, real family people.
Two years after they'd adopted Vicki, her parents had a son of their own.
We have completely different coloring.
He had dark hair and dark eyes like my parents.
As she got older, Vicki began to notice more than physical differences between her and her adoptive family.
Being a sort of highly emotional person in a family where emotion wasn't expressed, I didn't feel connected.
Desperate to find out more about where she came from, when she was 18, Vicki found her adoption file in her father's desk.
In it was a description of her birth mother.
[Vicki] "She's interested in classical music.
Her height is 5'6" and she is fair with blue eyes."
I have blonde hair and blue eyes and I'd been singing in various choirs.
So for the first time I felt that I did have a connection.
The file also explained how she felt about giving Vicki up for adoption.
[Vicki] "She realizes that giving the child up is going to be a big sacrifice for her, but she's willing to do this for the child's sake."
It's so sort of matter of fact in black and white.
But while this discovery fueled Vicki's need to find her mother, it also revealed how difficult the search would be.
[Vicki] It said that she was from South Africa.
It felt almost impossible that I would ever be able to find my birth mother, somebody that I actually... feel connected to.
[Nicky] The only clue we had for Vicki's birth mother was her name, Eleanor Ann Crewe-Brown.
Local enquiries in South Africa's largest city, Johannesburg, revealed that there were lots of Eleanors in the Crewe-Brown family, but there was only one of the right age, and she went by her middle name, Ann.
[knock on door] Hello.
How are you doing?
-Hi.
-I'm Nicky.
Ann?
Are you all right?
It's lovely to meet you.
Shall we go in and talk?
Yeah.
Have a good chat.
Did you ever think this day would come?
It's difficult to take in, and then, of course, it's difficult to tell everybody.
Did people not know?
No.
Nobody knew.
I was made to promise that I would never say anything.
And that I would never make any effort to find her at all.
What did it feel like having to make that promise?
Can I just say it's, it's not a secret anymore.
Yes.
[laughing] I told everybody, and the overriding reaction is just such a lot of happiness.
How long were you with her?
Well, she was born and then she was gone.
I never fed her, I never held her, I didn't ever see her.
-Nothing.
-I've got a photograph of her.
Oh!
Oh, just incredible.
She is my daughter.
She's part of me.
[Davina] After over 30 years searching, I could finally tell Vicki that we'd found her birth mother.
Thank you very much for having me.
So... what's driving your search?
I've got a lovely husband and great family, but I would like to think that maybe I'm related to somebody.
Uh...
I just feel I would like to know.
Well, your mum's been found.
-Is she well and...?
-She's really well.
This is your birth mother.
[Vicki] Oh, that's amazing.
Oh.
She didn't tell a soul about it, so they've all been finding out about you.
-Oh!
-And they are thrilled.
She's told her brother and her sister and her son, your half brother, Nick.
The thing that she'd love to do more than anything else is to meet you in South Africa 'cause she wants to introduce you to everyone.
Oh.
I have family.
[laughing] Oh, thank you so much.
Four weeks later, Vicki travelled half way round the world to see Ann, the woman who'd given birth to her, and the first direct family member she'd ever met.
[laughing and sobbing] Oh!
It's been a long time.
I'm sorry it's had to be so long.
-Oh, shall we sit down?
-Yeah.
I never believed that I would be able to find you.
I'm just overwhelmed.
Because I thought I'd lost out.
-Hmm.
-On you.
[Vicki chuckles] I just hope you had wonderful parents.
Oh, I did.
And you made the right decision.
Oh!
Later the same day, Vicki also met her brother Nick.
This is amazing to finally meet you.
-Lovely to meet you.
-And this is my wife, Mara.
-Hello.
-Lovely to meet you.
It's been more than three years since Vicki and Ann were reunited and their relationship has gone from strength to strength.
They email daily and Vicki has been back to South Africa every year to visit her new family.
Today Vicki's at her brother Nick's home on the outskirts of Johannesburg, for a big family braai, or barbeque.
-That's really nice.
-That's a great picture.
[Vicki] The first time mum and I met, it was an overwhelming feeling of just coming home.
And it was something that I had waited so long for.
Okay, is somebody ready?
This is about to go.
-[cork pops] -Hey!
Yeah, ooh!
[Ann] Meeting with my daughter gave me a new lease of life, I think.
I just have an emotional attachment which was there from the beginning.
Vicki's husband Curly is also part of the celebrations.
[Curly] This has made a massive difference to Vicki.
She didn't have a family.
And that gap's been plugged.
It's been a dream come true.
[all] Cheers!
I do feel part of something bigger.
My whole world has changed.
[Nick] Okay, lunch is served, everyone.
But suddenly discovering a huge new family halfway across the world hasn't just been life-changing for Vicki and Ann.
[Nick] I didn't know that I had a sister.
I was shocked.
My mother kept it a deep secret.
Vicki Haskell is back in South Africa for the fifth time since she was reunited with her birth family over three years ago.
Her brother Nick has brought her to a local beauty spot so they can spend some quality time together.
[Vicki] Well, I can hear it but I can't see it.
-Oh, there it is.
-[Nick] There it is.
There's the waterfall.
Wow!
That's beautiful.
Nick has been so welcoming.
I could not have asked for a better relationship with him, really.
Did you say that there were some eagles?
[Nick] There are.
For Nick, who grew up an only child, the sudden revelation that he had an older sibling was a huge shock.
I'd never knew anything.
Sometimes I've gotta pinch myself, you know, "Oh, my God!
I have a sister."
It's amazing.
-There's something moving up there.
-[Nick] There you go.
Magnificent.
But uncovering this secret part of his mother's life has helped Nick to make sense of his own experiences growing up.
Throughout my childhood, there was something that was not sort of fitting properly.
There were a number of times when I would just look at my mother and see her deep in thought and think, "What's going on there?"
So when my mother finally did admit that I had a sister, suddenly a lot of the pieces just fell into place.
[Vicki] I had always suspected that I was a secret in the family.
But the fact that I was thought about was lovely to hear.
And very comforting.
[Nick] This has brought something very big and very special into my life.
You know, I've missed a lot.
And I think, "Ma, why didn't you tell me I had a sister like 20 years ago?"
But, you know, finally getting the truth has made a huge difference to me.
Now I feel a lot more comfortable, a lot more solid.
And it makes my relationship with my mother complete.
It's my mother in full.
After being separated for over 50 years, the most important part of Vicki's visit is spending time with her birth mother Ann.
[Ann] I just feel that she is my daughter.
It's as if she was always there.
[Vicki] Coming back to a mother-daughter relationship so late in life is strange.
-Here we are, tea for two.
-Oh, perfect, perfect.
[Vicki] But I certainly feel that I can confide in her, that we can talk about anything.
So it is a close bond, yes.
It has felt incredibly natural.
The minute we met, we recognized that we were family.
Before she was reunited with her birth mother, Vicki had never met anyone she was directly related to.
[Vicki] I think it's very difficult for somebody who has grown up with their natural family to understand why it's such a big deal for somebody who's adopted.
But I always felt that I didn't belong.
I had friends, I had adoptive family, but there was still a hole there.
-I think we are pretty alike in a lot of ways.
-Yes.
[Ann] I think we understand each other.
Yes, I think we're on the same wavelength.
And certainly the same facial expressions I think sometimes.
Well, everybody says, "Yes, I can see it's your daughter."
I love it 'cause I've, you know, I've never had it before.
And, I mean, that's just amazing to me.
[chuckles] I cannot imagine being without her now.
It's the way it should be.
[Ann] That's us.
-I look a bit... -The famous two.
Now I'm certainly more comfortable in my own skin.
I smile more.
I look younger even.
I do feel that I know who I am and that I belong.
[peaceful music playing]
- News and Public Affairs
Top journalists deliver compelling original analysis of the hour's headlines.
Support for PBS provided by: